I am writing my manuscript. That’s how my prof calls it. I thank God for him, for he has often given me good advice. He has shown hospitality and care beyond what I would expect. I have always enjoyed the discussions and interactions with him, even though we are loggerheads at times. But I suppose that is to be expected, because I come in strongly in my own viewpoint at times, and may put him on the offensive.

I am thankful to God that I am writing this manuscript. It’s not easy, and it is stealing time away from my revisions. My prof thinks I can find time to refine my dissertation as well. He jokingly said ‘Don’t stab me’. I won’t. I guess he has been too kind to me that he will be the last person that I want any harm to befall on him. Whether I can find time or not I do not know currently, for I have been very inefficient. For example, I reached home and took hours just to read a few pages of my JC notes, because my sister kept talking to me, and later my parents came home and conveniently switched on the television. So finally, after understanding the notes (which took me almost 2 hours instead of a 30 mins if I am efficient) I switched to writing my manuscript. Little progress again. But I had a good dicussion with my professor, and I did generate a few more data to discuss. But the thought of looking at my discussion section again turns me off, as I will have to dig for data to compare and show that they work again. I know they work, but finding the data I want is not so easy.

Nonetheless, I am grateful for a fruitful albeit unproductive day. Pray that I would continue to sustain my work with HIm in this difficult time, that I would not be faithless to a faithful God.

It’s always calm before a storm. It is always peaceful before the hurricane struck. Today, I felt as if the hurricane really struck. I got an email. Waited for a reply for more than 2 hours…and finally at 6.45pm, I managed to call through to the person I need. I was surprised by the change in his schedule, which he didn’t inform me, nor call me, otherwise, I think I would have rushed back home, printed it no matter what, and submitted Prof Heah’s letter instead. I guess I could have hurriedly printed and rushed down, but somehow, I just didn’t do it. Am I not hungry enough? I don’t know. I think it’s worrying sign.

On hindsight, what occurred during the call seemed very surreal. We actually sat an appointment, and that I would bring down all my documents + extras…

Jessica spoke about how sometimes, we just need to wait and pray, and how, some of my solutions cannot be solved myself. Only God has the solution to all the variables in my life. I have to pray that things go smoothly on Friday. I am pleasantly surprised how my trip to RJ went…

I guess today is the last day for many reasons:

• Last day of 2008
• Last day for me to finish up some websites
• Last day for my professor. I wonder what will happen to me next year for my thesis.
• Last day of 2008 but there are some people whom I have not even met up with the entire of 2008

Frustrated? Absolutely. Especially when you are in school trying to figure out things that you have no clue on how to do it. I also wonder what will happen to my spiritual walk in 2009. I am anxious, for 2009 is going to be a year filled with a lot of uncertainty. Change is normal for me, but I want some kind of consistency in my growth in the Lord.

Ok. So that’s my final year project or thesis dissertation. This is the anterior cruciate ligament which is one of the 2 ligaments that connect your femur and your tibia together. In other words, they are a pair of ligaments hidden deep in your knee joint. They are most easily injuried, and if you injure your ACL, every step you take will hurt twice.

With such a complext structure, modeling it in 3D is of course difficult. Modelling it using a FE software you are not familiar with is worse. Haiz…I’m stuck every other day, and I still have no clue how to produce what my professor wants me to do.

The process of thought is that which is common in homo sapiens and other species of the animal kingdom. However, it does seem that human beings think a lot, and a lot of emphasis is put to training a person to think. I guess with thinking comes the freedom to choose, otherwise we would all be robots.

Enough of blabbering. I was in school today, and a conversation with a classmate made me realise that many of my classmates continue to hold to the dream of becoming a doctor. I think it’s good to have a dream. It’s better than me, who bumped around after JC because I didn’t really know what to do with my life. I think practicing medicine is noble, with a huge potential to help many people. I did consider applying for graduate school of medicine, but I’m not so sure if I’ll excel in it. To study it so that I can better help patients with Biomechanics problem? I would gladly do it. However, I would readily admit that I prefer something more specific to the area of orthopedics. But medicine would really fulfill my dream of helping people in a practical and direct way.

I guess reading a PhD would also enable me to carry out research on cutting edge technologies, to improve the living standards of mankind. Perhaps the implications of any research findings are more indirect; they need a long time to be verified, tested, approved, before they can be rolled out onto the market. Perhaps it is also a distaste with medicine, tools, equipments and tools – old, inanimate objects. They may help a person recover faster, or cure an illness or restore normal bodily functions, but they lack the warmth and touch of a person. Somehow, these are the things that help a patient recover better and faster, because such psychological factors have a positive effect on the body. It has been proven that chickens grow much more in the presence of touch, so it speaks a lot.

All these thinking after I dissected a lamb hindlimbs, which made me wonder if I’m turning into a vet? Interestingly, I could tolerate the stench. The smell on my hand was a little more troublesome, but thankfully, the queen of food exists.

It’s a strange feeling to sit for exams after a break of 1 year. Yes, the last time I sat for examinations was 1 year ago. This reminds me of the good old RGS days. I enjoyed those days; it was the only time in my life in which moving up, ie promotion, is something relaxing. I found secondary 1 a breeze. I wasn’t the top student, but I did relatively well. I don’t compare myself with the geniuses in my class. I was just happy with my results, and getting my A2 average…I think.

Anyway, I’m suffering from post-exam syndrome. These are the symptoms: after feeling very tensed up for weeks, you cannot relax immediately. In other words, you suffer from withdrawal symptoms. You don’t feel like celebrating, because you know you have work to do very soon. This is acerbated by the fact that your body has not adjusted; you can’t fall asleep despite feeling tired, and you wake up early. You want to sleep till a later time but you just can’t make yourself fall asleep again. So you feel very tired during the day but unable to sleep.

Yes, the thought of impending work to do, the laziness to go out to celebrate…what is there celebrate? Who to celebrate with me huh? Good question. Maybe I just want some quiet time to sit down to read. But John Piper’s books are a little difficult – no it’s not the content, it’s just the writing style I’m not used to.

So tired that my guitar playing sounds bad and I’m lethargic to even practice.

Thought this was really good

The Writing Junkie’s Rude Acronym

C is for clarity of thought & language
R is for relevance to whatever question that is being posed
A is for applying knowledge that we get from various sources
P is for precision so as to reflect a more complete, ‘real’ picture of the situation.

Crapping is a skill. A very much needed one. As long as I don’t smoke. Haha.