Maturity often has the effect of moderating one’s views and emotions. Or at least that was what I was told. At times, I would ask YM why she reacts to things in a certain way, and she’ll reply, ‘It comes with age.’ It often leave me amazed as I thought about the life lessons she must have experienced. Or JT, who said that his approach towards many things in life changes as he matures. I can’t help but remark at how time, struggles and experiences still mould people even when they are adults!

Thus it has been a lesson for me, and JT hit the nail on the head today to drive home the message that I still have a lot to learn. That we should sing as a constant reminder of our joy in the Lord is a message so simple that it’s easy to overlook. Yet, it contained gems of truth – why should we let the odds of life rob us of our smile in Christ? Behind the beauty of the sentence is an entire theology of the finished work of Christ.

It is not surprising that I would struggle in this ordeal. Our motives are never pure, and I’m not even sure how much self-interest/self-protection/selfishness rear their heads as I attempt to swim in the torrent of mad ethical confusion. I have little confidence that my actions and reactions when I deal with the situation are pleasing to the Lord, not even to mention glorify Him. I can only pray that the Lord will be merciful and gracious to me. But even as I plummet to the abyss of confusion, God did send various people to encourage me, to remind me of timeless truths, and to advise me. For that, I am thankful, even when the situation remains unresolved; I still need to fight every step of the way.