I somehow have a hack for crossing the line, but more frequently for the wrong reason than not. The feeling that I have done something that might be a tat inappropriate happened yesterday. I guess it’s one part an eruption of a problems suppressed for too long – Pris once remarked that I may be experiencing disappointments with God. I know I should not even be entitled to such a feeling, but I honestly don’t know. 5 months on, I find myself reading one of ‘The Letters..’ and crying. What the heck is wrong with me? Is it a resonance of the problems I face? I can only guess and pray for enlightenment.

For some strange reasons, I decided to on some research on the family members of the person who wrote the book. I have great respect for him, the theories he came up with. However, after what I read about his children, that night I cried, and in fact prayed to sleep. The next day, I almost couldn’t read his book without doubting his sincerity. But God in the process did bring me back to 1 verse in the Bible. It’s found in 1 Kings 2, on parenting. I’m glad He brought solace through that.

Yet, the damage has been done. I wrote an email to someone, maybe even including some details which I shouldn’t have. I didn’t know this person’s relation to another, and neither do I know that this person is the brother of some big shot. I’m certain that he is happy that I don’t know that his brother is a big shot. But unfortunately, I kind of suspected something and today, the truth came out. I think I must have been the most disrespectful young person who challenges an old man in a way most unimaginable. I have been honest, but it may not be right. God please repair the damages that I have caused.